The facts are simple. Blackmail will make you cry. You’ll be frightened out of your wits. It’s just not like the fantasies I was imagining before I initiated my meeting with Tay. These days I jump every time my phone rings and my heart skips a beat with the ‘ding’ of every text I receive. I’m so frightened of the tone of my phone now I constantly find myself changing the sounds it makes.And when I pick it up to check my messages and see it’s just a friend texting, the relief is palpable. Then I might let my guard down for a moment when it texts again seconds later knowing it’s just my friend adding to her previous text ... Nup! It’s Tahlia. Or one of her friends. Her gang all have my number now. And I’m trapped. Forced to react at their whim all because I allowed my libido to take reign over my brain.True abusers, true abusers like Flea and Denny and Tahlia, obviously don’t get this feeling of unease I did but the sexual assault I was forced to not only watch but was also complicit. Mike and husband, and I were getting pretty sweaty loading up the car. The trunk was already full and the back seat wouldn't fit much more. Mike went back in the house to get the last of his things. I heard him come out of the house. I turned around and saw him carrying his 42 inch flat screen TV."Where are you going to put the TV?" I heard his father ask."I don't know, but I don't want to leave it. Maybe we can move some stuff around in the back seat."I looked in the back seat. "I don't think so, son." Mike looked in the car. "We can put it in the middle of the front seat." Ok, college man," I said. "Then where is your mom going to sit?"I could see on his face he was trying to come up with a solution. "I got an idea," he said. He opened the passenger side door. He put the TV in the middle. He then got in and sat down. "See plenty of room. Here mom sit next to me." I tried to sit next to my son. I could sit in the seat, but the door wouldn't close. Now, I am not a big woman. I stand.
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